the amount of ‘you alive?’ texts I got this morning
when you see your best friend hanging out with someone you hate
(Source: SCEPTRE, via aprl12)
I have a really hot waiter.
Guys he came back with my food and said, “Careful the plate is hot too.” So I asked, “too?” and hE TOUCHED MY SHOULDER THEN MADE A SIZZLING NOISE.
IM FREAKING OUT WHAT DO I DO.
wanna know what these all say?
"suck his dick"
(Source: racingbarakarts, via aprl12)
me when it starts getting cloudy: yeees
me when it starts raining: yeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSS
"What would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything. -Vincent Van Gogh"
- TheDailyPositive.com (via thedailypozitive)
Guy on train: I'd fuck you if you didn't have so many tattoos.
Me: *turns up music*
Guy: I said I'd fuck you if you didn't have so many tattoos!
Me: *takes off headphones* Leave. Me. Alone.
Guy: Why the fuck do you have so many tattoos?
Guy: Are you fucking deaf as well as a piece of trash?
Lady by door: Hey. Leave her alone.
Guy: Are you her trash girlfriend? Fucking dykes, all tattooed like fucking men. Disgusting waste of pussy.
Lady: *moves forward, carefully moves jacket so only I can see the badge on her belt* Are you okay?
Me: Fine. Just wish he'd go away.
Lady cop: I can make that happen.
Guy: Oh, yeah, bitch? Who the fuck are you? I'll kill you!
Lady cop: And that's what I was waiting for. *grabs guy, holds him against the door* Harassing women on the train was enough, but you just threatened a cop. You're battin' a thousand tonight.
Entire train: *applauds*